Many people believe that divorces have to be volatile and aggressive, but the reality is that you can get through a divorce without fighting and without shutting down communication. One way to do this is through the use of mediation sessions.
Mediation is a huge benefit to many people who are going through divorce. Why? A third party is there to keep them on track and to help steer the conversation. A mediator also has the experience and knowledge to help you both understand more about the decisions you make.
Unfortunately, some myths keep people away from mediation when it could be a major help. Here’s what you should know.
Myth 1: If you can’t stand the other person, mediation won’t work
A mediator’s job is to help you both get along during the session. They keep fighting to a minimum and keep conversations productive. The mediator also helps you work toward rational decisions.
Myth 2: All mediators are the same, so it’s impossible to choose
This is also not the case. You can determine a good mediator by asking the mediator if they have at least 60 hours of training, have a law degree or mental health degree, have a strong understanding of the state’s divorce laws and are committed to following the Model Standards of Practice for Family and Divorce Mediation.
Myth 3: Mediation is for saving marriages
Divorce mediation is not designed to help save your marriage. Mediators are not the same as couple’s therapists and aren’t there to help you rekindle your relationship. Instead, they are there to help you come up with resolutions to divorce-related conflicts, such as who gets the family home or how to divide your retirement assets.
Myth 4: Mediation means settling for less
Mediation doesn’t have to mean settling for less. While some people believe that they have to settle during mediation, the reality is that you can reject it and go to court. You can also try arbitration and other methods of dispute resolution.
Usually, couples are able to come to an agreement during mediation. This is because much of the frustration of arguments and other issues are set aside, and the mediator can give you information about the law and methods that might help you resolve your issues.
With mediation, you can have a good chance of resolving your disputes and moving on quicker, so you can separate your life from your ex-spouse’s more quickly.