All marriages go through ups and downs and each is unique in its challenges. However there are several warnings that will let you know your marriage may be on the rocks. These include excessive criticism, contempt and irrational defensiveness. Spotting these red flags early can be the difference between being prepared for, or being caught completely unaware of, potentially life changing events such as abuse, infidelity, and even divorce.
Our Morristown, NJ divorce attorneys have the experience necessary to help you find the correct legal way forward should you decide divorce is the best option. Facing divorce may mean facing issues such as child custody, child support, and dividing assets, all of which can be daunting. For this reason a skilled Morristown, Chester attorney is a must have in your corner.
Signs Your Marriage May Be Headed for Divorce
Being made to feel like you can do nothing correctly, everything you do is insufficient or that you can never please your partner in any way may be a sign that you receiving to much negative reinforcement in your relationship. Excessive criticism, either overt or subtle, is a clear manifestation of internal malcontent.
Although some criticism is normal and healthy in any relationship, when attacks become personal, constant and mean spirited they can lose any semblance of a loving critique. In addition, when criticism becomes general as in “Why can’t you do anything right?” “I hate that you constantly..” or “Why can’t you be more like…” it can show that the feelings are not just for that particular action but because of a more deep seeded resentment or grudge.
Showing or expressing direct or indirect contempt for ones partner is a grave as well as clear sign that a marriage is in serious trouble and such actions are usually motivated by feelings of disgust and strong dislike. Off handed insults, name calling, facial expressions showing disgust, eye rolling and quick irrational anger are all signs of a contemptuous relationship.
Often when asked what’s wrong or asking for an explanation for these actions will yield no clear response and will usually be followed by blaming the receiving party, stonewalling, an escalation of anger or emotional detachment.
A contemptuous relationship puts both spouses under constant stress. Irrational defensiveness and constant bickering leads to a “fortress” mentality in which one feels they must constantly be in fight mode and ready for conflict. This is clearly shown by a continual defensive mental and emotional posture.
Finding either yourself or your spouse constantly spouting such statements as “It’s not my fault?” “Well what about you?” and “If you hadn’t..”, are all flags of an overly defensive mental state.
What Can I Do to Save My Marriage?
Knowing how to address these issues in a meaningful way is difficult, and the results can have lifelong consequences. However, not dealing with these issues can have an even greater effect on your long-term quality of life as well as the lives of your children and extended family. Constant and intense negative interactions and feelings can cause physical health affects over the long term as well as untold mental and emotional damage.
With that being said, many marriages have been saved with the help of therapy and counseling. Whether it be though your church or religious organization or with the help of a trained professional, if you and your spouse are willing to try to resolve these difficult issues, anything is possible.
Preparing for Divorce in Morris County
As the saying goes, be prepared. There are many different things you can do in order to prepare yourself for a potential divorce, and if the divorce doesn’t happen no harm done.
For example, a large part of the divorce process involves the resolution of complex financial matters including child support, alimony, and the division of assets. Gathering records of you and your spouses finances, and gaining a clearer understanding of your marital financial situation will go a long way should your marriage end in divorce.
In addition, you may also want to consult with an experienced divorce attorney. Our firm offers free and confidential consultations, so you can easily speak with an attorney regarding other preparations you can make, the different options available to you moving forward, and gain a better understanding of the type of attorney you are looking for.
Contact Our Morristown Divorce Attorneys Today
The divorce attorneys of Laufer, Dalena, Cadicina, Jensen & Bradley, LLC have been working together for years serving families across local Morris County communities such as Chester, Morristown, Chatham, Mendham, Morris Plains, Harding, Morris Township, and all of Northern New Jersey. We believe in offering a wide array of legal solutions to fit our clients’ individual needs and concerns.
If you or a loved one is considering a divorce or going through divorce, please contact us online or call our Morristown, NJ offices today by dialing 973-975-4043 to speak with one of our qualified and experienced divorce attorneys in a free and confidential consultation.