Going through a divorce is never an easy emotional experience. There are inevitable bumps in the road of memories that are going to trigger regret, sadness, anger, sentiment and much more. The grieving process is real, just as it is in death. Although you may have to go through a long healing process, your divorce is entirely separate.
You do not have to have a long and difficult divorce. Ask yourself: “Is this worth my mental health?”. The egos and the vindictive behavior usually take center stage during the legal process. However, nobody is forced to play the game of an ugly divorce. You have options and the ability to exit gracefully from this painful chapter in your life.
Show cooperation
When you show cooperation, you are helping yourself heal faster. Cooperating with the process and working out reasonable agreements can greatly help your divorce get settled without the added stress hormones and rage that are common to many. Cooperation also exemplifies maturity and a more likelihood that you will recover from this experience after the dust settles.
Don’t give your power away
You change others by changing yourself. You are the only one you have control over when you are facing divorce. When you resist, battle, act ugly and behave with just as much resentment as your ex, you are giving your power away. If you wish for a more peaceful divorce process, then watch your behavior, words, attitude and perception of what you are experiencing. You might just cause a shift in cooperation from the other person when you do this.
Lastly, remember that this event in your life does not determine your self-worth. Do not out-source your identity, happiness, value, etc. to any person or external achievement. Now is the time to focus on your self-care and not neglect being emotionally present with yourself.
When you love and accept yourself first, it is very hard to be devastated when others reject you, even within a marriage. Loving yourself is your superpower. It is the thing that makes you invincible to the inevitable hurts in life. And what helps you avoid another dysfunctional and/or toxic relationship with someone else.
